A new chapter

I really dont know where to begin with this blog. About 4 days ago the tears started coming, yes, because of how much im going to miss my friends but mostly because i was scared. I was really questioning myself on if i really wanted to move or not. I never doubted a move so much in my life. I wondered if i was doing the right thing. I prayed and prayed about it all day everyday and it felt as if my heart,NOT MY HEAD,was telling me it was the wrong thing to do. I was about to face a HUGE life change. I am so use to doing what i want to do,when i want to do it. Now it's all completely different. I have to live on a TIGHT budget,Obey my brothers rules,i cant necessarily go out and do what i want whenever i want,my life will pretty much be school and work. So i thought to myself,WHY?,why go backwards again? I felt so torn. Then the other night i talked to my brother,i told him all my doubts and how my relationship with God was slipping,and how i felt like such a failure to be doing this again. AMAZINGLY,he said all the things i needed to hear,and informed me that he loved me and cared for me and wouldnt be doing this if he didnt think i could and that,yes,it will be tough but i am doing the right thing. Living on my own in Maryland was actually making me go backwards in life because i was living paycheck to paycheck and wasnt goin to school. I was just doing the same thing everyday,not necessarily moving forward at all. So yes,i know this is going to be something that i have to really fight through and its going to be tough but i do,IN FACT,have God on my side,My Family and Boyfriend here supporting me every step of the way. I'm ready to do whatever i have to,to have a better,more stable life and a growing relationship with God.
Yesterday, I helped Caitlin,Nicole and Bryan move into their new place and WOW,that was tiring. [: haha It is a gorgeous place though and i am so very happy for them!! After moving everything we could get for the day,Caitlin and i went over to her mom's house and said goodbye. Then we headed back to the apartment and packed everything we could fit into her car. When it came to the last thing in my room,i did a very typical thing people usually do in movies or on TV. I stood in the middle of my room,and looked around,remembering all the moments i have had in that room. Some happy,some sad,and even some life changing moments. I stood there for a couple minutes,picked up my las box,and walked out. I drove most of the way there,which really wasnt that bad,just tiring. We arrived here,in VA Beach,Around 10:30,unpacked the car,hung out for a little bit,then Caity left. As i layed there going to sleep,i thought to myself,"HERE WE GO!" .. I'm soo ready.

The People that i had met while living in Maryland are people that i will NEVER forget in my entire lifetime. I've made some amazing friends,but i've also lost a few,one in particular that at times,i forget how close i actually was to that friend. This move made the fact of losing that friend,hit me even harder than ever before and i wish that in some way,we could still be close,But some people aren't meant to be in your life sometimes i guess. Maryland was definetly an experience in life that has made me learn a lot. There were good times,and there were bad times,But the good times have always,and will always,outweigh the bad. Nicole,Patrick,Bryan,Rachel,Nick,Bethany,CJ and Danielle have each made my life so beautiful at one time or another and i'm so thankful that i met these people,Even if we talk all the time or not at all,they will forever be in my hearts.

welcome back,welcome backkkk ahurrr

I'm Back!!! haha .. we completely lost our internet on the computer so i havent been able to update for weeks lol .. thank god i have a awesome room mate [:



Well a lot has happened ...



On Monday August 13,i got a horrible phone call from Tony informing me that my pappy passed away :'( ... We have all been expecting this day to come soon but it was still a shock. I just wish i had seen him one last time. My mother was able to see him sunday though, he had got into a car accident and she had a bad feeling. His passing had nothing to do with th accident though .. The funeral was today and i had everything set and ready to leave last night on a 4 hour bus trip but my father and brother both refused to pick me up from the bus station. So sad. :/ .. I miss my pappy,and i will never ever ever forget him ... <3



On a lighter note,

I finally got my license yesterday :] haha .. i spent the night before my test practicing with Rachel and Adam for 4 HOURS!!! haha Okay,so maybe we weren't practicing the entire time. Haha but it was fun .. Anyway,i went to the MVA completely FREAKING out but that god i have some amazing friends,oh& boyfriend who helped me keep my faith highhhhh [:



I'm moving in exactly ONE week .. I almost started crying this morning at work while nick and i were opening garden. I'm gonna miss these people more than anything. Its gonna be soooo much harder than i thought.
It turns out i have to rent a truck to bring all my crap down and I HAVE to drive it!!! oh joyous day.. [: i hope tony can maybe come up if he doesnt have work and HE can drive the truck and i'll drive his car ^_^ .. Tony's already got a job down in Va. He actually got it the day after he dropped me off at home. PRAISE GOD!! now he just has to find a place to live!!! [: hahaha

Well i dont know if i'll be able to update before i move but expect a BIG one coming if i dont [:

<33

oh meeeee

SO

I'm leaving in 3.5 weeks...scary. Lately,everyday that i've been at work,i'll stop and think to myself HOW MUCH i am going to miss these people. (Yes,i complain about my job a lot,but who doesnt?) I've made some of the BEST of FRIENDS since i've lived here and i couldnt be more thankful. Sometimes,though,i ask myself why i'm even leaving,ya know? why leave this place where i am loved by so many people? And honestly,sometimes it seems stupid but i just have a feeling that i will never accomplish all the things i want to if i were to stay here. But who says i could never come back??! [: Packing has already begun in the apartment. Last Night,caitlin took off all our picture frames and such of the wall. Its so weird. ahh

Tony is coming down tonight .. i think he is trying to make it a surprise but sometimes,he's a bit TOO obvious [: .. its okay though. We are leaving Friday for VA Beach and coming back Tuesday. I'm goin to the college monday i believe to get everything situated with financial aid and what not. Please pray everything works out!!!! .. Tony will probably stay for a couple more days here in MD but then he's headin back up to VA to stay with my brother for 2-3 weeks before i get there!! This should be VERY interesting but im excited!!! [:

<333

yayay!!!

Happiest of  Birthdays Babyyyyyy

[:

The BIG[!] 2-0 

hehe

i love youuu

hahahaha

I think its really funny how some people will beg you to not think badly about them for DUMB things they did in the past,and hope that you will only remember the good times. Then they go and do stupid crap.. yeah "friends forever" .. i think not. I'm so happy that part of my life is gone. We all know IT was pretty much the main cause for all the crazyness this past year..sighhhh

other then that!! LIFES GREAT!! [:

blessed <3

 So i started writing this Wed. but just now am able to finish it [: haha

I arrived home from VA Beach last night. It was definitely an experience this time around. We got there around 6PM friday night and pretty much hung out. Saturday,we all went to the Cantina,which is a something Jada's old neighbor started where he and his wife will bring their work truck full of hot and cold goods and they feed the homeless. It was definitely something i will never forget. There wasnt much of a crowd since it was Labor Day weekend and the cops were trying to push them all away from the ocean front because they all are looked at as complete scum. It was so upsetting. Some of them just got thier food and left,otheres stayed and talked. I will admit that at first i was a bit stand-off[ish] because i had never experienced anything like this but as i started serving them and listening to them from a distance,i became interested in what they had to say so eventually i joined Jada and began talking to them. All the stories i heard were very extreme. Some of them had been out on the streets for years,fighting everyday. I realized so much that day. I realized how truly,truly blessed i am to have what i do because most people,dont even come to close to having it.  I use to find myself complaining about the things i didn't have but since that day,i praise God for everything,especially the little things in life that he has given me. It was an experience that will stick with me forever.

Sunday Morning we went to church (which is the one thing i ALWAYS look forward to when we visit) and it was a great service. He was teaching us that we all have to get out there and serve the lord. For instance-Being a missionary-OH MY! i want to do it soooo bad!!! Vince was telling us about trips that will be happening in the future and i was totally left down when i realized that the meeting to join was this sunday after church and i wont be there :( BUT hopefully once I move they can squeeze me in ;] .. its something i've been very passionate about for the longest time and to have the chance to actually do it,will be a dream come true. [: 

Monday we went to Busch Gardens which let me tell you[!!!] it is AMAZING!!!! we had so much Fun.

Anyway- Update on school,i got accepted,wooo-hooo! lol i know i sound dorky because it is a community college and all,but its exciting! I can't wait to start!!! [:

mmm [:

we live,we love

we forgive and never give up

cause the days we are givin are

gifts from above.

So today we remember 

to LIVE

&

to LOVE

<3