ch-ch-changes

So a lot has happened within in this past week of my life!! I cant remember the last time all this crazyness stumbled onto my plate at once! haha. But i must say,i have not been this happy in a long time. Why? i dont know!! its driving me crazy! Typically a person in my situation would be miserable! NOT ME! I dont get it!! ahhh Anyway! I find myself looking for a reason to why i'm so happy and .. it always come to,"Maybe because for once theres clarity in my life? Im not necessarily confused about my feelings towards another person?" YES! thats it! But then i remember what happened a week ago and that reason gets shot to hell! What would someone HONESTLY do in that situation?! I find myself constantly battling over what the right thing to do is. Would reminding him make things akward .... ? or more comfortable .... ? Would we laugh about .... ? or would he get upset .... ? SEE I DONT KNOW! and its driving me nuts!! How would you even remind someone of something they did while being not soo sober? Include it in a friendly conversation "OH! and by the way! THIS HAPPENED" ... hmmm ... I guess its my guilty conscious getting to me because i DOUBT any good would come out of telling him ... Then i see how we act with eachother,and the way we talk. Its unlike anything before. Its very unique. But i wonder its too unique?! maybe weird?! haha. Thing is,i dont want to run the risk of losing his friendship because what happened,happened. We cant change it. So maybe keeping it to myself(and a few close friends) would probably be the smartest thing!

sighh


i'm so use to not being this happy for no reason that im trying to find reasons to be miserable. Which in my eyes,is pretty sad. Its really not working though. I really do see a lot of things in a different perspective and i couldnt be happier that im finally content.

I recently lost someone very special in my life. It was really hard at first. It still is but i guess i've learned to deal with it and move on with my life. Living in the past and dwelling on what could have been or how things could have been better in past,is not gonna help Me. I really had to learn how to let go of people,especially the people i never wanted to but knew i had to. Its something i have to work at everyday and This is when i realize the reason why i am so happy. And the reason is God. Without him, I would not have been able to get through a lot of things in my life. He is guiding me to where he wants me and is helping me every step of the way. He is showing me that in life,you cant always have what or who you want but No matter what,you will always have him. He has bigger and better things planned for me and im so excited to see where he takes me. He has blessed me an amazing family and friends to help me get through this and to be a stronger person. I will forever praise the lord for everything/everyone i have or will have in my life!

Until next time . . .