Daddys girl

I have been having the weirdest dreams lately. I could try to explain them but they would make absolutley no sense. Except for the one i had last week. Never in my life did i have a nightmare and found myself waking up,screaming and crying. It was the night that i fell asleep at like 7pm and woke up at 11&5&10 .. YEAH i slept 15 hours .. Nice right? Anyway- I fell back to sleep around 5:10[?] then i start dreaming but in my dream,it didnt feel like i fell asleep at all. It felt like i was still just chillin in my bed trying to go back to sleep. Then my father appeared,and we just started talking as if it was natural for someone to just appear in your room at 5AM! [haha] We started off just talkin about general things then he says he has to tell me something,so,i let him speak and the exact words out of his mouth were "I died last night Kayla,i had a heart attack,and i died in my sleep. I'm dead." This is where i started crying hysterically and was trying to call everyone possible to confirm if its true (because i believe that when it actually does happen,i will be the last family member to know because im the most "sensitive",and they wouldnt know how to tell me) .. well i couldnt get in touch with anyone so i started yelling things like "who's gonna walk me down the aisle!"."this cant be true!" .. typical things .. Then i remember driving with someone and being on the phone,i was telling the person what had happened begging them it wasnt true then i slowly began to wake up,i remember opening my eyes very slowly while screaming and crying .. then i fully woke up and still felt like it was true then it hit me that it was just a dream and the biggest wave of relief went through my entire body .. The whole day,i was impatiently waiting for 5PM so i could call my dad and make sure he was ok .. And he was,after calling him about 4 times with no answer,i finally got him and when i heard his voice,tears started to fill my eyes. I told him all about my dream and he kinda laughed cause my dads just like that but after a while he began telling me he was fine and that i have nothing to worry about. So we talked for a little bit more,and when we hung up,i was happy. My dad has the amazing ability to make me happy just by talking to him,i love it. Anyway- i go into work the next day and i begin talking to Sylena and Nick about it and Sylena proceeds to tell me that sometime dreams like that,that feel so real and natural,could be taken as a "token" by god,preparing you for death. Nick and I look at e/o like "whattt?",she starts explaining it to me better,giving me personal experiences. Like how her grandmother had a similar dream about her husband coming home,doing his regular routine but had actually been dead in the dream. Then a week later,he died. So im standing there like "ummm....!!!!" ... scared that it might actually be true. Then i call my friend and he reassures me that story and the possibility of it is completely whack and blah,blah,blah .. So yet again i get the urge to call my Father just to really make sure he's ok,and yes,hes still ok ...

See a lot of people dont know a whole lot about my relationship with Father .. I was always a daddy's girl,even after my parents divorced and i was living with my Mother,Nothing changed. At the age of 15 i moved to WV to finally live with him,lets just say,things didnt work out :/ and i moved back to NJ and didnt speak to my dad for almost 2 years .. The sad thing is,it wasnt my fathers fault why i moved,But he saw it as me giving up on him,and i guess he felt abandoned. So we just stopped talking completely. Every now and then we would write e-mails back and forth but the only thing that came out of it was anger and heartbreak .. Finally,I called him. Thanks to a great friend who encouraged and pushed me whole way to that point [: .. I went into the bathroom and locked the door,sat on the edge of the tub and dialed his work number,as it rang,i was trembling. Then he answered and i was so scared,i was finally blurted out "hi,daddy" and we talked,and it was nice :] .. Ever since then,i call him every sunday. I think now im a even bigger daddy's girl then ever before. My Father is the pusher,hes got tough love and wont give me whatever i want when i want it and i couldnt be more thankful for a father like that. He DOES make me mad sometimes but its only because i dont want to accept the truth in what he's saying. He is the one person i call when im having a really bad day and i KNOW everytime, i will get off the phone with a smile on my face. He has this amazing ability to make me feel better and it def. has to do with his incredible humor (he is,by far,the funniest person in this world). I thank the God everynight for that .. [:

Wow .. this post turned into something completely different from what i was gonna write about. haha <3